Rich Smith
xx-xx-xx - xx-xx-xx
There are so many people who could stand where I am today, paying tribute to Rich. I was humbled by the invitation and honored to do it.
It is really a true testament to Rich and his impact to see so many people at the visitation yesterday and the service today. We mourn our loss..but more importantly we should celebrate his Life and ALL that he meant to every one of us.
Rich and I met close to 25 years ago… and honestly…the only thing we really had in common was our employer. Rich, a big, tough, loud, opinionated guy from the South Side of Chicago…and me, a relatively quiet, go along to get along guy from the South. But over 2 decades, a friendship cemented and those things that made us different worked for our friendship. There are so many stories I could tell..things I cherish and I’m sure things you could all relate to. But I would never tell under the roof of St. Patrick’s.
Rich was one of those individuals that a lot of people know. I was always impressed by just how many people knew him. If you played the six degrees of separation, it wouldn’t take long for Rich Smith to be a connector. He wasn’t someone who worked at networking necessarily…people just knew him.
His job, his community involvement…Pony baseball, 4 Seasons, Scouts…made him known to a number of people. But, his personality was so big, people like me, like us, were attracted to him. We felt comfortable with him… his confidence and assuredness made you want to listen and get to know him.
All of us have our own version of what Rich meant to us and our lives. And as I thought about what I would say today, there is too much to convey….as I said before, so much I can’t because I can’t in church.
This is my version, but I’m sure if you knew him, a lot of these will resonate with you:
Rich was REAL. He was genuine.
There aren’t enough real people in the world, but Rich was truly one of those people. He wasn’t political, didn’t tell you what you necessarily wanted or expected to hear, didn’t sugar coat much…and wasn’t burdened by holding back what was on his mind. He had the gift of saying what many of us would love to say if we only had the courage.
He used to make fun of me for quoting Emerson, but there is a quote that captures Rich perfectly:
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment”
Maybe that’s why we were friends. I know I lack that type of courage…and it was inspiring…if not funny at times to observe this about Rich. He would say about himself…I can’t help it…I just have to say it. Fortunately or unfortunately a lot of that came out at work.
He had a boss early in his career that, to put it mildly, Rich didn’t respect. Rich being Rich, couldn’t hide this fact, and didn’t care to hide it. Once after taking a CLU exam on Management…a test everyone, including his boss, knew he didn’t study for…he somehow passed. Surprised, his boss askedhim in front of a unit meeting how he ever passed. Always quick on his feet, Rich said that for every management scenario I was tested on, I thought about how you would handle it…and then I answered the exact opposite. Rich kissed up to no boss. We’ve all thought about saying something like that…Rich did it.
Later in his career we had an agreement. He would send me memos/emails in advance of sending them to his supervisors. Help me make it “nice”, Kevin. I would read it, and it would go something like..”If you people think this decision is a good one, well I
completely disagree. Here you go again. When will you learn to listen to someone who knows what’s going on!” I would tell him, “That’s OK..but you might try something
like..”While I know you have confidence in the decision, I do have a suggestion, based on
my experience, that could enhance it”. Well that’s horrible, I’m sending my version.
Rich was PASSIONATE.
He lived life wide open…with purpose, fun and emotion. I’m very sad that Rich’s life was cut short by cancer. But what I know is that he didn’t waste the time he was given.
Whether it was softball, bowling, cards, Bears, Hawks, Motorcycles, RV’s, restoring cars, drinking, eating, working…he did it 110% or not at all. Last year he told me he never was a reader…he read Car magazines and I suggested he pick up a book and try it. I gave him a title of a book…a day or two later…he asked for another..and another. I think I read a lot, but I exhausted every book I think I’d ever read. He would text me and want to debate the merits. Arguing about certain points..He just didn’t do anything half way.
He lived by the mantra, if you’re going to do it, do it right!
I wish I had a dollar for every time he told me that because of his frustration he was going to stop caring so much about his job. “I’m done” he would say…”I’m just going to coast”. Until the day he left State Farm, he couldn’t coast..he couldn’t look the other way…He was passionately engaged. It’s the only work ethic he knew.
Passionate people are fun to be around…at least most of the time.
Once when the Saints were playing the Bears in Chicago, Rich decided we should tailgate. In the spirit of doing it right…weeks ahead of time he went to Chicago to buy Polish sausage and insisted I make Gumbo. It was going to be a true Chicago v. New Orleans match up, starting with the tailgate. Our kids were small at the time and so we used their youth helmets as center piece for the table. Luke or Nick’s Bear helmet and my son, Matt’s, Saints helmet. Prior to going in he said, let’s put on the helmets and take a picture. Here are two grown men, in youth helmets, everyone gathering around and laughing…as they started to cheer Rich and boo me…he drew back and head butted me. To the cheers of the Bear fans, he said…we are going to kill the Saints.
Rich was COMPASSIONATE.
This is a virtue that may have been hidden behind a tough exterior…but it was as big as his passion and genuiness.
He cared deeply for his family…and worried most about them. How the boys were growing up..how Dawn was doing. Her family, his Mom…His expecations for everyone was high, but if he worried about anything…it was their well being.
He always fought for the little guy and saw himself as a voice for those who sometimes go unheard. That is why he loved HR.
He sincerely cared about his friends. You might sometimes mistake his compassion because of his delivery…but it was there. This weekend I went back and looked at every text message he and I shared over the last 2 years. Every other text Rich was asking about me..my kids…Laura, my wife. When he and I were together, I wanted to talk about him..he would turn the conversation. How are YOU doing. If I tried to change the subject, he would say NO, how are YOU doing. What about how are YOU doing don’t you get?!
Finally, RICH Was HEROIC. Real, Passionate and caring made him that hero.
There are so many lessons to be learned from him but the biggest is that you just don’t quit. You battle. You compete.
He didn’t necessarily have it easy as a kid or for that matter as a young adult. He would joke about it, but it was never an excuse or crutch. He knew he…not his circumstances…controlled his destiny. And what a great example he’s given us as to how to live life.
Be REAL, LIVE with PASSION, CARE FOR THOSE AROUND YOU…and set an example for your family and friends to follow. That’s rich in so many ways.
I mentioned before that Rich was a connector. Through his life, love and friendship we have a connection and I think an obligation. The connection is a special bond..and the obligation is to take those gifts he shared and keep them alive. He would want that.
He was a great friend, a great father, a great husband…..I will miss him.
